“Anjanā, I really like to listen to the Dhamma of the Supreme Buddha. It is wonderful how that Dhamma gives us the clarity to see this life in its true form. What do you think of it? My father is going to marry me to someone. I am so afraid of getting married. How many times we might have lost in the Samsara because of the marriage? How much of suffering did we have to face because of it? I am also sad about Apsarā. Do you remember how she and Sudhāraka were in love and got married? But what happened to them now? Remember how they recently fought with each other like forever rivals. Why Anjanā we keep getting tangled in the suffering like this?”

“That is true Subhā. I also only like the Dhamma, but some misfortune found me. My husband likes Niganhta Nāthaputta. He says that Niganhta Nāthaputta’s way is correct, but it is a joke to me. When every time I try to praise the Supreme Buddha they stop me saying that they know who the Sage Gautama is. I just have made up my mind.”

Then Anjanā moved close to Subhā and whispered something into her ear. “Subhā, I took refuge of the Triple Gem secretly. I am practicing the Dhamma without letting anyone at home know about it. I just want to attain Sōtapanna state quickly. Please don’t tell about this to anyone.”

Subhā stared at Anjanā with her widely opened blue eyes. Removing some hair on Anjanā’s forehead she said, “That’s alright Anjanā. We have to help ourselves. You got that chance to take refuge of the triple Gem, but lots of people in this country don’t have that fortune. A large number of people from all over the country come to this City Rājagaha each day, but only few search for liberation.”

“That’s true Subhā – anyone who visits this City Rājagaha indeed has a noble sight to see. There are Arahants collecting alms, Bhikkhus meditate under trees everywhere, people attend to Dhamma discussions, and the Supreme Buddha travels with a large group of Sangha. What a rare sight this is!”

“Yes Anjanā, I always told my father the value of taking the refuge of the Triple Gem. But they think that they are the only ones who are wise.”

During that evening, there was some kind of function at Subhā’s home. Upstairs has been decorated with large curtains and garlands of various flowers. Brahmin Vāsauladatta was spraying aromatic water from a bowl of water he got from River Gangā.

“Daughter Subhā, Master Sudhāraka’s son Dhananjaya comes home today. So you should wear something nice and look beautiful today.”

Subhā was scared. She opened her eyes widely and stared at her father. Her gold color lips dried in an instant. She was nervous and started to breathe heavily. Her father asked her,

“What’s wrong daughter? There’s nothing to be afraid of. He is really a good person. He is from Kshattriya clan that belongs to the Bhāradvāja tribe. He is one of the pure clan of Ubhayakula and is faithful towards Vēda. He is also…”

“That’s enough, that’s enough dad.” She bowed down and started to cry touching her father’s legs. Then the Brahmin took her up from her shoulders.

“Why Subhā? What’s his problem?”

“No dad, it’s nothing like that. I just don’t like the household life. Each time when I go to the Temple Vēlhuvanārama, I feel the truth behind this life. The truth is all around us. But dear father, we couldn’t realize it until our Supreme Buddha preached it to us. Ones who are sunk in this mud of sensual pleasure sink furthermore and not getting out of it. Even though I don’t like the sensual pleasure, I like the Dhamma a lot dad.”

“What! So you don’t like the sensual pleasures because of the Supreme Buddha’s Dhamma?”

“Yes dad. I’ve seen the truth through that Dhamma. Are you telling me to get trapped in this deception again?”

“Daughter, you are saying the words of sages who meditate in forests.”

“Yes dad. I cultivated the concentration. I can live in the state of contemplation for a long time.”

Master Vāsuladatta felt that he is becoming speechless from each word uttered by Subhā, ‘that means my daughter has acquired a development even ahead of what is taught among Brahmins.’

Every posture of Subhā started to change gradually. She climbed to the verandah at evenings and strolled calmly. She looks like a female divine walking in the sky when she strolls in the balcony with her wide blue eyes downwards and the long untied hair.

Bhikkhuni Prajāpati Gautami was well respected among devotees of City Rājagaha. Therefore, many people went to see her into the Andha forest. One day, a group of devotees who went to Andha forest was joined by Subhā and her people too. They were amazed by the charm, dispassionate life pattern of Bhikkhuni Prajāpati Gautami. They bowed down in front of Bhikkhuni Prajāpati Gautami. On that day, Subhā gave up the household life. She became a Bhikkhuni and obtained the higher ordination in a very short time.

When Master Vāsuladatta got sick Bhikkhuni Subhā came back to Rājagaha to visit her father. By that time, the life of Bhikkhuni Subhā has been changed completely. Everyone was surprised of what they are seeing. She is like a female swan flying in the sky. Her bluish eyes are shining in happiness. She does not have any desire of sensual pleasures. She is free of anger, unhappiness, or dislike. She is not suffering from these defilements. She lives in meditation all the time. She is very happy. She has attained the Anāgāmi State at this time.

After preaching the Dhamma to her father, she spent some time in mango forest of Jivaka. After collecting alms, Bhikkhuni Subhā went inside the forest to meditate. She felt a passionless happiness seeing the forest full of large mango trees with gigantic branches and their leaves. Focusing her mind on the Satipatthāna, she calmly moved forward into the forest. Suddenly she felt someone was in front of her. She lift her face up to see who it is.

‘Who is this person? I have never seen him before. Why is he in my way? Is he someone who I knew in the City Rājagaha?’ Bhikkhuni Subhā tried to remember who he is.

“Ha ha ha… Did you get startle? I am Diyanātha. I am the only son of Master Lakshita of the City Rājagaha. You don’t know about me. But I was waiting for a chance like this to catch you. Aren’t you also from Rājagaha? I have as much as money with me. Beautiful ladies come to me when I tell them just my name. They embrace me. I am someone who spent a lot of time with those ladies in the City Rājagaha.”

Subhā started to think, ‘He says he is Diyanātha and is a gallant. What a pity! It looks like he has found a path full of suffering to travel this Samsara.’

“Aren’t you also feel something about me when you look at me? Yes, it is love and not anything else. See my handsome body. Many beautiful women have embraced me in love. Isn’t someone beautiful like me matches well to someone like you? Aren’t you thinking about the same thing?”

Subhā started to think, ‘It is indeed true what the Supreme Buddha preached. Oh! This man is fuddled by youth, healthiness, and life. Oh! He’s like a fish caught by a bait.”

That gallant was murmuring something about himself. Subhā who stared at that man did not fear even for a moment. Subhā contemplated the Dhamma. Then that man came towards Subhā slowly. Subhā stepped backed.

“Don’t come closer! Did I do anything wrong to you? I am on my way to meditate. Why are you obstructing my way? Can’t you see that I am a sage who protects the precept of refraining from any sexual conduct? It’s not suitable for me to touch a man.”

Then the man muttered in haste. “No. It’s just… What I am saying is that…”

“What’s there to say? I have a pure, noble affection. But it’s for my Great Teacher, the Supreme Buddha. Our Great Teacher taught us everything to protect ourselves. He taught us the precepts, and as disciples, we are protected by these precepts. My mind, body, and words are pure. Why do you try to block such a pure path that I have taken?

Oh! You are suffering. You are suffering from your own agitation within you. But I don’t have such a problem. Desire to sensual pleasure is not something one should keep in mind. That’s why you are suffering like that. I don’t have anything that belongs to sensual pleasure in my mind. Why are you blocking such a pure path that I have taken?”

“What are you talking about? See how beautiful you are. What have you done beautiful girl – where’s your beautiful hair? Where’s Laksharasa that decorates your soft feet? Where are the jewelries? It is gold jewelries that suit your long, thin, gold color hands. Throw that yellow robe away. Let’s feel the pleasure in this forest beautified by aromatic flowers.”

That gallant is trying hard to trap that noble life into his sensual acts. “Feel this mild wind. How fragrant this wind in this forest is? See how the leaves in these trees dance to this mild wind. It’s like the Mother Nature is singing to us. Can you feel the pleasure of this mild wind that touches your skin? It might be because it is the spring.

Beautiful girl, this spring is for us. What else is there to do alone in this forest? Aren’t you afraid of this dangerous forest? There are dangerous animals like elephants, tigers, and so on. Fortunately, there aren’t any humans. It’s only us.”

Subhā can’t understand what he’s talking about. She can realize the beauty of the nature, but she doesn’t know how to add sensual pleasure into that natural beauty because she’s free from it. That gallant started to talk again.

“I have seen many beautiful girls in this City Rājagaha, but there was none that is beautiful like you. Even a gold statue covered by a soft Kasi cloths isn’t beautiful than you. Are you one of the female divine beings?

I am actually enchanted by your beauty. I can’t move even one step away from you. You look at me in an entrancing manner, and I am dragged to that look. No one has ever been able to charm me like the way you do.

Please listen to what I am saying. Let’s go home. I’ll buy you everything that you want. I’ll give you as much as servants you want. Kasi cloths, fragrant flowers, gold, diamonds… I’ll give you anything that you like. There is a beautiful room that we can live. It consists of a bed decorated both top and bottom. Its mattress is soft. You can sleep well on that bed.”

“Can’t you understand that I am a Brahmachārī person? Sensual pleasure is a sickness of the people with defilements. That sickness is cured in me.”

“Yes. It’s you who don’t understand. See that your life is like a beautiful lake with beautiful lily flowers, and it’s been guarded by the demon of Brahmachārī precept. That lake will be dried off and die without letting anyone using it. You’ll also grow old like that.”

“Haven’t you ever stepped into a cemetery? How many bodies like mine are being deteriorated in there even at this very moment? It’s amazing that you still see a beauty in this body. For me it’s disgusting.”

“That’s not true. Now see how beautiful your eyes are. I am telling you the truth. The long and wide eyes of does aren’t beautiful like yours. Mermaids who dance at water falls don’t have beautiful eyes like yours. When I see your beautiful eyes a current of desire goes through my whole body. Even the petals of lily flowers aren’t beautiful like that. Your eyes are long, wide, and blue in color. See how your eyes look at me. Even the partly opened eyes of mermaids aren’t beautiful like those. Trust me – I can’t let go of those eyes. I don’t have a desire to anything in this world more than to your charming eyes.”

“You are in a great error and following a wrong path. You are trying to play with the Moon. You are trying to jump over the Mahāmēru rock. You can’t do that. I am a daughter of the Supreme Buddha.

There is nothing in this world that can bring any lust into my mind. I don’t have a mere idea about what the sensual pleasure is. I followed that path of Nibbāna and am completely free of any lust.

Like a fire that was taken out by the wind and a vessel of poison that was destroyed, I don’t have any lust in my mind now. I don’t understand even its nature. How comfortable this mind that is free of lust! I freed myself from lust by following the path of Nibbāna.

There are women who don’t think wisely and who didn’t see the Teacher through His noble Dhamma. You might be able to allure those women using your those words, but it’s a huge torture for me!
When someone worship me or defame me I stay mindfully at all the times. I see foul things as foul now. I am a disciple of the Supreme Buddha now. My mind attaches only to an empty hut when I follow the Noble Eightfold Path.

Have you seen puppets? Those puppets are managed to move different ways using threads. Lust is also like a thread that manages this life. I destroyed those threads and pieces of sticks that puppets were made. No puppet show will be performed in my life again. What part is there in those pieces of puppets that one should like?”

Subhā is keep preaching the Dhamma and gallant started to hear a wonderful truth in those words. He is hearing a truth that he never heard of. An abnormal fear started to form in his mind.

“An artist draws a beautiful female figure on a wall. If someone thinks that it is a real figure, a deception occurs within that person who thinks it is real. You are no different than such a person. You don’t have wisdom. You are blind and like a person who is deceived by a trick of a magician. It’s like the deception of a figure that is seen in a dream. You have been deceived to something of no value.

You actually don’t know what this eye is. There is gum in a tree hole. These eyes also have something like that – they are bubbles of tears and eye mucus.”

“No! Other eyes could be like that, but yours are not like that. All I see is a couple of beautiful eyes. They look bluish and beautiful. How can I go away from those beautiful eyes?”

Subhā did not speak anything else. She covered her one eye using her gathered fingers. She put those fingers into her eye. With a great courage she pulled it out at once while blood started to shed and splatter from her eye. She is now carrying her eye attached with nerves and covered with blood on her palm.

“Here is your eye…! Please take this away quickly. I don’t have anything to do with this eye!”

That gallant was surprised and shocked. He dropped down on the ground crying and asked for forgiveness.

“Oh! Meritorious Brahmachārī person, please forgive me! May nothing like this ever happen to you! May you be well again quickly! It is my own sinful thoughts about noble ones with great minds that brought harm upon me. It’s better if I embraced a fire than this. It’s better if I embrace a poisonous snake than this. Oh, I’m a stupid person. Oh meritorious noble person, please forgive for all I have said without knowing the truth!”

That gallant bowed down on his knees. He kept crying on his knees worshiping Subhā Thērī until she disappeared from his sight. Subhā Thērī silently walked away looking for the Supreme Buddha with her eye ball on her hand.

The Supreme Buddha sees His disciple daughter who is coming towards Him in a distance. She is carrying her eye with nerves and blood on her right hand. Subhā Thērī looked at the Supreme Buddha with the great bodily characteristics from a distance. It was a miracle! Her eye ball with nerves and blood went back into her eye and got cured at once. With the great compassion the Supreme Buddha was looking at the eyes of His disciple daughter who gave her life for the Dhamma. Subhā Thērī came to the Supreme Buddha and worshiped Him. She is happy with a lust-free notion. She has no fear. The Supreme Buddha preached the Dhamma, and she attained the Nibbāna.

Based on Subhā Thērī’s stanzas in Thēra Gātha
Written by Ven. Kiribathgoda Gnanananda Thero